There will be a rainbow after the storm, they said. Well, in my case, I may not have seen the rainbow yet, but there's already a silver lining. Now I can see a clearer, brighter sky. Much brighter with warm weather. Now I can see the yellow sun.

After months of suffering, trying to bounce back from my adversity, finally I get my life back. For the past months, it's quite hard for me to enjoy things I used to like; My work, my study, my relations with others, my hobbies. I just did it because I had to, soulless. There were times where I feel like "Oh, it's just another day of life that I have to pass."

But thank God now I can enjoy things again. I can feel the music, I can watch a movie mindfully without being absorbed in the mixed feelings and rumination, I can work passionately, I can cook excitedly. I am beyond happy that I start living my life again. I am relieved that I can get rid of what burdens me. 

I believe that this day will come. I know I just have to be patient, do extra effort to change things, ask for help if I need to, and pray harder to God. Yes, time will heal but we can't just sit there and wait, we have to make an effort to heal.

I am so grateful to be surrounded by healthy support systems. By those who are very supportive, be there when I need them. Those who lend their ears and spare their time to listen empathically, or to just accompany me whether it's AM, PM, even at 3 AM before fajr where everyone else asleep. Also, thanks to those who keep sharing posts, links, or news that make me laugh. It's really good to literally laugh not just typing "LOL" with that LMAO emoticon.

Quoting from someone I heard recently, the research said that one key to happiness is connectedness, how we are connected to others. And I totally agree with it. Whether the medium is chat, phone call, video call, or meet someone in person, when I talk to the right person it feels like that I am injected with energy. 

Another thing I realize that helps me rise up is target. A clear, concrete goal or target reminds me of what I should be doing. It reminds me that I have more important things to complete, and I don't have much time to be sad and overthink unnecessary things. Yes, sometimes the target can be stressful, but the great thing is I like working. So instead of seeing it as distress, it is more like eustress for me. And don't forget that the most important thing is self-care. Know when to stop and rest, when to continue, when to switch.

October, you were great. Thank you. November, I can't wait to welcome you and see what you offer.