Menjelang akhir tahun, udah waktunya nyiapin post reflection & throwback. Huhu rasanya belum rela ngakhirin tahun ini karena ngerasanya masih banyak utang nulis. Sejauh ini bulan Desember baru publish 1 post, padahal yang mau ditulis ada banyak banget, tapi waktunya bener-bener engga sempet. Jadi mari kita mulai nyicil dengan tulisan yang satu ini.

Sebelumnya gue udah pernah bilang belum sih kalo I'm not a type of "New Year Resolution" person? Gue pribadi nggak pernah menargetkan apa-apa setiap pergantian tahun, karena menurut gue pergantian tahun sama aja kayak pergantian hari. Nothing new, nothing special. Buat gue kalo emang mau berubah mah bisa kapan aja ga harus tahun baru. Fun fact-nya adalah resolusi (resolution) itu berasal dari Latin yang artinya "melepas", "menyederhanakan", yang berarti menyederhanakan sesuatu menjadi lebih simple, sedangkan sekarang mungkin resolusi orang itu adalah menambah daftar hal yang ingin dicapai dan diraih, bukan dilepas.

Balik lagi ke gue, sekali-kalinya bikin resolusi tahun baru karena dipaksa sama temen wkwk. Waktu itu untuk tahun 2018 gue diminta bikin 3 resolusi. Satu di antaranya tercapai, yaitu melanjutkan S-2. Satu lagi setengah tercapai (?) yaitu tidur sebelum jam 12 malem. Yaa.. Ini on off sih kadang suka nggak ketat sama diri sendiri.

Tapi terlepas dari not a type of a resolution person, I am a good reflective person instead. Jadi rasanya membuat refleksi akhir tahun lebih cocok untuk gue. Dan kali ini gue memutuskan untuk coba membuat reflection post untuk melihat apa aja yang udah terjadi sama gue di tahun ini. Beda sama tahun-tahun sebelumnya yang cuma menceritakan what (events) happened throughout the year, kali ini mau cerita what happened to me throughout the year. Di akhir tahun 2018 ini gue akan ngebedain reflection post dan review post :)

Sebelumnya, di bulan September kemarin sebenernya udah bikin post semacam ini, but let's make another one when the year nearly ends.

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
Hmm... Difficult question. What a difficult start haha. I would say that it is work at Inspigo! As you may know, I love that podcast app. I occasionally share it on my social media, sometimes pull myself back not to share it too often because I love it that much and want everyone know that inspirational app. And then the opportunity come, latter I work for that company :)

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
Transition from work to college. To change everything; mindset, behavior, ways of thinking, including changing my lifestyle as I don't get fix salary as I used to.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
I finally figured out what I really want to do. I'd always 'play safe' and not be brave enough to go out from that safe zone. This year, I try to overcome my fear in taking risk, start doing what I want to do, and it feels so good.

Another thing is I realize that I am done with myself. Kalo dalam Bahasa Indonesianya sadar bahwa udah selesai sama diri sendiri :) Maybe I did (done with myself), but I have just realized it and it is so peaceful when I'm aware of it

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
Didn't get into my targeted uni. Everything seemed to work smoothly, I even got accepted at that uni, until my mom stated that she didn't want me to enter that uni.

5. Pick three words to describe this past year.
Challenging, learning, discovery.

6. What were the best books you read this year?
Trading vs Investing? Haha. Honestly I hadn't read books since graduated from college, until I started to learn stocks this year. So this year I only finish 2 books (and both are about stocks) and for me it's an accomplishment!

7. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
Start introverting again (yes it is a term). Referring to the journal article I read, introverting means that someone passes their time wrapped up in their own thoughts and lived in their own inner world. The past years I spent much time with other people, to socialize, to work, to play, to get refreshed. This year I mostly spend time with myself. Not alone, but with myself. I differentiate alone and with oneself because with oneself, I have a dialogue with myself, understand myself more about my needs, what I want and don't want, then fulfill those needs. Someone said that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship of your life. Thus invest some effort to know yourself better.

So this year I don't spend much time with other people as I used to. Specifically I don't hang out with friends often, but when I do, it feels more meaningful than just a hang out.

8. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally, spiritually, physically?
Not really. Frankly speaking it is declining in these areas. I'm a bit messed up this year, focusing on some aspects of my life and don't really focus on these aspects. And that is the worse part, the guilty feeling when you realize something's wrong but not put an effort to fix it.

9. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
Being overthinking! While previous year I waste my time on social media, this year I don't spend much time on social media. If you see that I keep posting content, I just post what I want to post without too much viewing others' or scrolling my timeline. But this time I feel like wasting my time thinking of what I shouldn't think of. The worst part is lately my panic attack strikes again several times. Something that I had overcame and I must manage it again.

10. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
Make my free time to gain money haha. You may have heard that time is money, but do you really know how to make money from your free time? Now I do! Being a freelancer, being an independent contractor, being a research panel could be another source of income. It also means that less time to do meaningless activities. I become more mindful in using my time.

11. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?
A concrete one is invest stocks. But life lesson learnt is that you'll never know until you try. Sounds cliche but it is true.

12. What creative projects do you want to bring into the world this upcoming year?
Soon! I am too excited. Just wait for it ;)

13. Create a phrase or statement that describes this past year for you.
Start over again.

Wow, ternyata tak mudah yang menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu. As I said I am a good reflective person but to choose the most, the best, the worst one is different thing. Dalam setahun banyak ups and downs, tapi untuk memilih yang paling itu ternyata nggak gampang. Karena ini post pertama dan belum terbiasa melakukan ini, mari dimaklumkan saja hehe.

Sebagai penutup, mau kasih satu quote yang aku setuju banget.